Gayle Pilat: We Remember Her

Two years ago, our sister-in law Gayle Pilat left us suddenly and unexpectedly. On this anniversary of her passing, we remember her. Our family custom draws on memory as a means to be in touch with our deepest feelings about those we have loved and lost. Jewish tradition uses memory also to remind us of our obligation to continue the good deeds a loved one pursued in life. There is a belief in our tradition that a departed person lives on as long as we remember her.

As her brother-in-law, I remember Gayle in so many ways. I remember the joy she brought Laura throughout their years together. I remember her remarkable creative talents. I remember the causes she championed. I remember her seriousness and call to action on behalf of fairness, social justice, and societal progress. I remember her kindness to my aging parents, to Roberta and me, and to our children Judy and Danny. And I remember her compassion for those in need, her quirky sense of humor, her idiosyncrasies, and her wide diversity of interests.

Here is a short list of everyday things that celebrate Gayle and her impact upon our lives. I hope you will join me in adding your remembrances to this list. When I hear on the radio a story about the Rutland NAACP, I remember Gayle’s dedication. When I see Roberta wearing earrings Gayle crafted, I remember her creativity. When Laura sends us a recording of Gayle performing her music, I remember her talent. When we pet our dogs Benny and Henry, I remember her lifelong love of animals. When I find a deer whistle Gayle gave us for our road safety, I remember her concern for others. When we help Laura sort through sports cards Gayle collected, I remember her love of sports. When I see an old picture of Gayle with Lily and Bill, I remember her generosity.

Gayle was a talented, complicated, intense, dedicated, generous individual and a loving partner to my sister Laura. She is with us as we remember her.

Richard Abel